TWENTY | NINE

2 9

Twenty nine.

Two. Nine.

Nope.

I feel like Joey from friends around all their 30th birthdays. ‘Why God, why are you doing this to us?!!!’

One year older, another year wiser? Doubtful. Birthday’s are turning into this time I dread, apart from the great excuse to get together with all your besties and have great craic, I sit there after everyone is gone and think. This is it. I’m getting old. It’s not okay. I’m not okay.

My brain has turned to mush lately, I genuinely feel like I’m having a mid life crisis. Let’s not call it that cause like, I hope I’ve more than 30 more years left in me 🤢 IT’S SO SCARY. Like where did these 29 years go? And the years are only going faster, there’s so much I want to do and I feel like I nearly don’t have enough time. 

Last time I wrote a blog, and let you all into my crazy, it helped, because so many of you understood, so many of you thanked me for being so honest, because these things need to come to light I guess, and I think these things are more so now. Mental health, is no joke. And we all have so many thoughts, we are so hard on ourselves, and our minds can be our worst enemy. We are totally all in the same boat, different journey’s, but we all have to do this thing called life, the best we can.

Do I always make the right decisions? No.

Am I a good person? Debatable .

Am I trying to do the best I can? And trying to do what makes me happy at the same time? Yes. 

Unfortunately what makes you happy might not make others, and it’s pretty shit and pretty hard to get the balance right there. I wrote a blog back in September, and didn’t post it about a book I’ve been reading called ‘The life changing magic of not giving a F*ck’.

I find I’ve been implementing the practices in this book quite well, I definitely don’t care as much about what people think, like me or hate me, byeeeeeee. And my bullshit meter runs on level- not today 🤚. Which we all definitely should follow! 

But here, this post is supposed to talk me and you, into being more positive- because the point I made up there, we are all in this together, that right there should give us all some comfort. 

.......

I started writing this blog post yesterday, and didn’t get it finished as I couldn’t find the right words to finish it off. And today, I woke up to the awful news going on in our country, and 3 young people who lost their lives in Cookstown, waiting to have a good night out, the mother in Carlingford found in the Lough, and my post and my thoughts and anxiety seem so silly. This is so beyond devastating I can’t even begin to imagine the pain these families are going through, the people there that witness the horrific events, and the people there for a weekend in Carlingford that all went wrong.

A young girl in my work the other day said to me, ‘tomorrow is promised to no one’. And that hit me like a tone of bricks. Tomorrow, who knows. We only have now. Which gives me that complete loss of breath I talk about, but we have to go for it, live, not workworkworkworkwork just to get by, I know it’s so shit we have to work cause we need money to live, but try to not dwell on the things we can’t change, and make the absolute most of right now. 

My heart is truly broken for all the sadness in this world, so many things we just can’t control. And on the mental health front,  I just hope we can all be stronger  in ourselves. And truly live . ❤️

Easier said then done, but someone is always there for you if you need it. 

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by the recent tragedies ❤️

Love,

SK xx

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